“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around

- and why his parents will always wave back.”  William D. Tammeus

I posted this photo of Andy and Charley giving me a wave over at the soeurs du jour the other day.

I don’t know about you but where we live in the city, no one waves.  Sure every now and then you get a nod, sometimes even a smile and if you are really lucky you may be the lucky recipient of a hand lift.  It always amazes me when I go back to the city that no one waves.

Up at the cottage, sitting on the dock, my arm is flapping like a flag on Canada Day. Everyone waves.  The couple in the canoe, they waves, the family in the speedboat, they all wave, the kids wakeboarding always wave so that you will notice them and the fisherman breaks his meditation and he waves too.  Even the little girls riding the tube wave in a panicky way while they hold on for dear life with the other hand.

Don’t get me wrong, I like to wave first sometimes.  So I wonder why I never wave at home? What’s different?  Is it because we don’t have time to wave and if that’s true, what the heck, how long does it take to wave??

Waving is a one love thing.  It screams ”we’re having a good time and we hope you are too!”   We often laugh when we see another couple about the same age as us reading on their dock.  Inevitably they lift their eyes at the sound of the motor and give us that very special wave of understanding, acknowledging how lucky we are to be in the same moment on a beautiful lake.

So just move your arm freely back and forth or up and down in the air, as if it were a branch in the wind.  Now didn’t that feel good?

This is my sister’s old boat, in it sits her son and grandson. They are tethered to the dock. The little one just wanted to be in the boat and his dad sat with him. They were going nowhere.

Margie often writes me or calls me from her cottage and tells me that she never wants to leave, she loves who she becomes at the cottage. I tell her I understand, I don’t experience it often but I do know what she means.

We were tethered to our home this past weekend. It was a holiday weekend, three glorious days off, in Ontario they call it a civic holiday. It meant that Barry and I were going to share two days off. I was so pleased. We could go somewhere and do something. I got busy making plans! Not having the same days off work as your spouse can be tough, you fit in as much as you can when you happen upon the rare treat of two entire days together.

We had a date Saturday night, dinner out and a play, Age of Arousal. (Yes a play about women, sisters and typing peppered with a liberal sprinkling of hot flashes – both mine and the characters in the play – it was perfect). Over dinner, we had talked of a holiday, a week of doing nothing, perhaps just before Christmas when we both could have some time off.

On the way home from our perfect night, I said, “Do you hear that?” He said, “What?” I said, “That noise.”  No, he didn’t hear the noise, but that’s okay, it was probably nothing.  Then there was a great clunk and a grinding.  “Oh! No!” Fortunately, we were close to home and coaxed our ailing old car into our garage. As much as I love a holiday weekend, our car hates them. She only ever breaks down on Saturday evening leaving us stranded until Tuesday morning.

And that is the story of how we were grounded. We were as tethered to home as those boys were to the dock. I decided that I would treat this challenge as a gift – as a good thing. I would take my cue from this photo and find peace in going nowhere fast. I was determined not to fret about not having a vehicle or how much that clunk was going cost. Our beloved car is known for her expensive tastes in repairs.

We woke early and stayed in bed reading books and drinking coffee. We puttered around the house when we finally pulled ourselves away from the luxurious lie-in. Later, we walked to the store to indulge in ice cream cones. Our short walk meandered into an hour and a half tour of our village and the back roads. It was hot and the cicadas sang in the trees, we walked side by side, chatting and laughing. I said I felt like our parents had grounded us and not allowed us to use the car.

The first field tomato of the season was purchased from a smart fruit vendor who also had local bacon for sale. A dinner plan of bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches was hatched. Weeds got pulled, the hedges trimmed and we drank gallons of homemade lemonade. Our neighbour who has the orchard across the way dropped off a basket of tree-ripened peaches telling us cheerfully to enjoy!

We found ourselves relaxed yet productive. I felt different.

I felt like I think Margie does at the cottage and it occurred to me that perhaps we love our cottages and summer homes so much because once we arrive for the weekend, or the much anticipated longer stays, we don’t leave. We become tethered to the spot where we are. Our summer lives consist of walks into town on dusty roads for ice cream, visits from neighbours who share their bounty, we do our chores but slowly and with intent, we spend quiet times with books and our loved ones, we dine on simple perfect foods. We love who we become when we stop, when we find happiness and joy in the simplicity of the things we already have.

My initial disappointment in not being able to go off and running in all directions on a holiday weekend was quickly banished by a reminder that sometimes things are best when you just stay put.

Can you park the car for a bit this week?  It’s a fine reminder of how things should be in August!

XO

Kath

Imagine that you after a long day in the sun, either working, swimming or playing sit down with your family to eat dinner on the patio.  There in the shadow your whole body relaxes and you all are enjoying the food and drink in front of you. It has been to hot during the days to do anything else than swim in the lake, perhaps getting a bit of a sun tan or just sitting in the shadow with a nice book. When the night falls and it gets a bit cooler we have enjoyed the evenings on the patio with friends and perhaps an occasionally a cold beer. We have had such nights for over three weeks now.

Yesterday it all changed after a small amount of rain. Not as much as we and the farmers would like to have but still. Now the sun shines and the temperature is more “normal” for a Swedish summer. So I started the fight against weed in my flowerbeds. I think they almost had won the war before I started. After a few hours with many short brakes to talk with a neighbour, drink some water and just sitting in the grass thinking of how nice it will look when it’s done. This image is from last night when I sat on the stairs to the house with a cup of coffee looking at the water splashing from the sprinkler. I was enjoying the result of my work, just sitting there thinking of nothing and everything.

The summer has passed so fast and it is only 4 weeks until school starts again. That day is also the due date for my next grandchild. It will also be time for a crayfish party or two in mid August. So we have lots of things to look forward to. It’s important to enjoy the warmth and light during these summer days to be able to cope during the darker and colder winter.

Jag önskar er alla en riktigt härlig sommar!